Weird Nightmare

I used to think it would be a great idea to collect the dreams people had between the time the radio went on & the time they actually woke up. But this morning the dream I had was so fucking weird that maybe this isn't such a funny idea after all.

This morning Juan Williams interviewed Condoleeza Rice. I'm not a big fan of either of them. But I was just yesterday listening to Steve Earle's song "Oh Condi Condi" (lyrics below*) while I was walking the dog. And the two things converged in my head and I woke up feeling so completely conflicted and, well, unclean. I can't even describe it. I couldn't get the water in the shower hot enough, you know what I mean?

In the dream, I was (I can't believe I'm even admitting this), like, totally hitting on Dr. Rice at a cocktail party. And, even scarier, she was totally into it. I won't go into any more detail than that.

One thing I'd like to say, though, is that it kind of pissed me off when Mr. Williams asked her a question about misogyny in hip-hop music, she laughed & said she didn't know much about hip-hop music ("I'm ... too old," she said, rather charmingly), and then he followed up with something about how she is an accomplished concert pianist. It seemed to me, in my half-awake state, that he was trying to find some way to underscore how out of touch she is with "her people."

It's like the way that a lot of the white liberal/progressive types that I know get all bent out of shape when a black person is a conservative. It's like they're accusing black conservatives of "selling out" and turning their back on their whole race. But let's make one thing clear: individuals are not responsible for the reputation of their whole community. There really are bad apples now and again.

It's a variant on the racist bullshit way we white folks (and yes, I know that Mr. Williams ain't white) look at a creepy black person's shitty behavior & wonder why "those people" are like that.

I just wanna call bullshit on that. Make no mistake, it's my opinion that the current crop of so-called conservatives, whatever their color, are betraying all of us. But nobody whines about white conservatives selling out on "their" people. And an America where individual black folks are free -- and have, like Dr. Rice, the ingrained privilege & fucking cluelessness -- to be idiots (just like clueless right-wing whackjob white people) is, ideally, the kind of America where I want to live. Even though I wish they wouldn't do it, just like I wish white folks wouldn't do it.

And I sure as hell wish they didn't have so much goddamn power just now.

But let's not forget, Condoleeza Rice is a smart-as-hell, privileged, well-educated, and amazingly talented woman. Just like Katrina vanden Heuvel and Jane Fonda and Amy Goodman and Bonnie Raitt and Erica Jong and Barbara Ehrenreich, to name a few. She does, however, have some different ideas about how the world oughta work.

"*Oh Condi, Condi" by Steve Earle:

"Oh Condi Condi beggin’ on my knees
Open up your heart and let me in wontcha please
Got no money but everybody knows
I love you Condi and I’ll never let you go
Sweet and dandy pretty as can be
You be the flower and I’ll be the bumble bee
Oh she loves me oops she loves me not
People say you’re cold but I think you’re hot

Oh, Condi, Condi
Oh, Condi, Condi

Oh Condi, Condi I’m talkin’ to you girl
What’s it gonna hurt come on give me a whirl
Shake your body now let me see you go
One time for me Oh Condi I love you so
Skank for me Condi show me what you got
They say you’re too uptight I say you’re not
Dance around me spinnin’ like a top
Oh Condi Condi Condi don’t ever stop

Oh Condi Condi Can’t you hear me call
I’m standin’ in the street outside your garden wall
Pocketful of money belly full of wine
Condi in my heart and romance on my mind
Listen to me Condi don’t be afraid
I come here tonight to chase your blues away
I’ll never hurt you I’ll treat you right
Oh Condaleeza won’t you come out tonight

Pretty little Condi precious as can be
Bet you never had another lover like me"

[Update 7-28-05] TCByrd of Hattie's Blog left this hysterical link to another great tune about Dr. Rice from zefrank.]