We're on to you, "Lyle Zapota"

I guess I haven't done my homework. I should have known something like this was going on. I'm glad my old friend Magpie brought this important study to my attention. How could I have missed it? It may be the most significant thing to come out of MIT's labs ever.

I hope it's not too late.

See, I've always taken great care to at least try to avoid or subvert the mind control and data collection efforts that more or less surround us nowadays. I don't have a television set in the house. I mean, who would? Haven't they read Orwell? Didn't they read 'Farenheit 451?' It took quite a lot to convince me that it would be OK to get a driving license and a social security number. I never complete warranty cards or send in any surveys. I shred everything. I still haven't decided whether things would be better or worse if I put my name on the 'do not call' list.

But sometimes I am too credulous for my own good. I've played right into their hands! I am such an idiot! I was so excited when I found out there was an effective, low-cost way to protect myself from mind controlling electromagnetic psychotronic carriers. Of course I have an aluminum foil deflector beanie! I even made AFDBs for my friends!

Imagine my dismay when I discovered that there is a high likelihood that one of my main information sources, one "Lyle Zapota," is a government agent. I bet that's not even his name. See, it turns out that not only do these AFDBs fail to protect the wearer, they fucking AMPLIFY the very frequency bands that are allocated to the US government, supposedly for radio location and other communication with satellites.

Read the study. Seriously.

Thank god I found out about this before I gave one to everybody on my Xmas list.

The AFDB I'm wearing in the picture at left is one of my favorites ever. I made it last year for a friend but there were some problems with the way it fit, so I took it back here for modifications. Now I don't even want it in my house!

My only solace is that there is one way in which my design differs from that bastard Zapota's: the multi-colored band around the edge, as well as most of the round dots decorating the top and sides, are made out of the foil coverings from the tops of wine bottles -- the old fashioned kind which are much heavier than even the heavy-duty Reynolds Wrap that I used for the rest of the unit. I think that they may even contain lead, which Zapota's site basically says not to bother with.

Yeah, right. That should have been my first clue.

The MIT study only examined tin-foil hats made out of 100% Reynolds Wrap, though. Maybe mine offers enough distortion to make a difference? I really can't say for sure. I'm certainly never putting it on my head again. Indeed, I noticed that in the time it took me to take the picture, the foil got noticably warmer. And not one of the 30-plus photos I took was in focus*. Not one!!! Not only that, my computer froze up THREE TIMES while I was writing this post!

Coincidence? You tell me.

[Added the next day: *Plus I got an email earlier from an old friend I haven't seen in a while wanting to know was that picture really me? It looks more or less like me, as far as I can tell, except the colors are all distorted now that I look at it on the big monitor at work. I didn't notice there was a problem on that crappy old thinkpad at home. So I tweaked the colors on the photo and re-posted it. You'd still never know that the wall behind me is sort of robin's egg blue and that my hair is pretty grey.]

[But wait, there's more -- my buddy Prolix responds to the above post here.]