Patriarchy's many cornerstones

Over at I Blame the Patriarchy, my fellow spinster aunt hits the nail on the head yet again in her discussion of a couple of issues that continue to baffle me beyond all reason.

"... I reveal no secrets when I say that many traditionally whitedude-o-centric institutions are so deeply entrenched in fucktarded patriarchal ideology that the spinster aunt necessarily writhes in ambivalence when she hears of women (or other oppressed groups) who try to bust through venerable dudely barriers to claim a piece of the action."

Yeah, exactly.

What set her spinning on this one was a news item that I noted sort of sadly and moved on before it made my brain hurt too much: a bunch of Catholic women risked excommunication by ordaining themselves or each other or whatever (unofficially of course) as priests and deacons. Out on a boat, I guess, so that they were not subject to the jurisdiction of any particular terrestrial authority (and, I imagine, they didn't want to drag some unfortunate parish through hell along with them, just in case there was trouble).

It just seems silly to me somehow, to want so badly to participate in a system that prohibits you from participating and works against your interests. No, not merely silly -- it's fucking nuts. Commenter Jennifer, over at Twisty's place, quite properly invoked Audre Lorde's The Master's Tools Will Never Dismantle The Master's House.

Duh.

But then Twisty also brings the gay marriage question into the mix. This is another one that makes my head spin. I mean, it's totally crazy that some people are allowed to participate in this sanctified activity and some aren't. It's a total no-brainer in my view that if straight people are allowed to do it, gay people should not be prevented from doing whatever it is that people do to get married, nor taking advantage of whatever patriarchy-supporting (or not) perks it offers. What puzzles me is why anyone wants to do it, and why there are so many perks attached to it. I guess Twisty says it more succinctly here:

"It’s not that I think homos shouldn’t get married; it’s that I think nobody should get married. Of patriarchy’s many cornerstones, marriage is the cornerstoniest. So, c’mon, let’s abolish the whole thing! Who’s with me?"

I'm in! I'm in!! Though as I pointed out in the comments over there (can I quote myself here?), I support it in an abstract "why the hell not" kind of way:

"I don't want my relationships regulated or defined or subject to legal obligation. [...] The only benefit to me personally that legally-sanctioned same-sex marriage could possibly hold is that I could more meaningfully choose not to marry anyone at all. I have successfully taken a stand against marrying a man by not actually marrying any of them, but my opposition to marrying a woman has gone largely undemonstrated."

You won't find me at any protests carrying any signs or arguing much about it. I guess I can't get all worked up about being denied a right I don't especially want, even if (in the context of things) it's only fair that I should have it.

But the light that dear Aunt Twisty flipped on for me was the one illuminating that towering institution of misogyny and patriarchal power: the symphony orchestra. I haven't been paying a lot of attention to the classical music world for a very long time now, and it was with a little surprise that I noted the fuss about Marin Alsop's confirmation as music director of the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra. Surely that can't be remarkable? Alas, yes it is. She's not the first woman conductor, but the first woman conductor to be appointed artistic director of a major orchestra.

This one caught me up a little short, as it was once upon a time my ambition to be a symphony conductor. I had no idea the odds were so stacked against me. I mean, it would have been much easier for a little girl growing up in the 60s & 70s to become a fireman or an astronaut. It seemed at the time, that women my age would have a much harder time fighting their way to the top in law or medicine or business. Surely not music? But it occurs to me: f I'd known all this, would I maybe have fought harder for it? Like somehow if I'd stayed there & fought for my right to exist in that particular patriarchal edifice, would I now have some kind of clue what would motivate a boat full of Catholic ladies to defy authority and ordain themselves in order to participate more fully in an organization that oppresses them? Maybe I'd be able to get a little bit more excited about demanding to be allowed to marry a girl if I wanted to.

Then again, maybe not.