Friday alternative health diagnostic quiz
Can't afford a trip to the doctor? Believe they're lying to you/ripping you off/in bed with big pharma/ignorant of the new quantum unified theory of self-healing anyway? Well, don't waste your time going from one alternative practitioner to another, free colon-cleansing herbs or not. Go over to the Woo World Self Treater and answer a few questions and concentrate on the vibrational level of your illness to get a FREE analysis of your auric field. Here's my reading:
"Quantum-consciousness analysis of your auric field shows you are suffering the symptoms of women's health issues, which is commonly seen among multigender entities born under the sign of Taurus. This may also be due to alien implants. Spiritually Guided Surgery has been shown to be effective* in relieving the symptoms of women's health issues and allowing the body to heal itself. You can also boost your immune levels by remembering to live a divine life, and commence colonic irrigations to remove toxins.via Orac at Respectful Insolence
Since you are vaccinated you are also strongly urged to contact a naturopath or kinesiologist to test whether you have autism.
*Based on user testimonials."
4 comments:
I told it I hear voices, and it told me I had cancer and needed to go swim with dolphins, after a naturopath tested me for autism.
And here all this time I thought it was from eating beef.
Clearly it was the vaccinations. I found it interesting that a multigender entity would suffer so from women's health issues. I thought I had transcended that whole thing.
It told me to wrap my head in Rice Krispy Treats and in twenty-four hours my irritable bowels would diminish...And after I had already begun to prepare the sticky snack I thought I'd read the last few lines of the quiz... Turns out all of this is mere silliness! What gives? I was ready to wrap my head in treats and start living healthier, albeit stickier.
mmm Rice Krispy Treats! I had no idea they had healing properties. And I've never heard of them being applied externally, either. The things you learn on the internets.
Wait, you said it's fake? What!!? I've gotta go have a look at this.
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