Happy Birthday

Tonya Harding is 37 today.

Update: I was looking for the lyrics to this song about Tonya Harding this morning, and I couldn't find them anywhere, so I had to listen to it about thirty times and transcribe it for you. It's by Loudon Wainwright III, and it appears on his 1999 release "Social Studies" as well as the 2003 live collection "So Damn Happy." I apologize for any transcription errors; I'm not very good at this kind of thing:

You knew she was in trouble when you saw her bodyguard/ when you saw those two together, you knew it wasn't hard/ to see that she was different, not just one of the girls/ with their gliding and their sliding and their pirouettes & twirls

then it turned out that she smoked and drank and posed practically nude/ and she didn't smile alla the time, she got angry, & was crude/ she wasn't goody-two-skates like all the other girls/ with their grinning & their spinning & their winning little twirls

and her childhood was unhappy, and her mom was really weird/ her husband liked to hit her but it was poverty she feared/ she grew up in the trailer parks, not like most of the girls/ with their gliding and their sliding and their whirling little twirls

yes they all look like princesses, little barbies to the core/ but she was your parents worst nightmare: the slut who moved next door/ from the wrong side of the tracks, she liked the boys more than the girls/ with their gliding and their sliding and their girlish dainty twirls

and it seemed like she was lying about what she didn't know/ and then she started crying in the media sideshow/ and in practice she kept falling down more than the other girls/ with their gliding and their sliding and their picture perfect twirls

and they almost towed her truck away, ah the whole thing was a drag/ forget about cambpells soup, and reebok, wheaties & the flag/ yeah, there'll be books, she'll make some money -- that's what they're after, all these girls/ what they're selling, kiss and telling, in their twisted little twirls

so play the national anthem, stand up proud and tall/ oh we hope that ours don't stumble and that theirs slip and fall/ and remember olga korbut, what happens to these girls/ with their triple flips and axels and someraults and twirls

ice used to be a nice thing when you laced up figure skates/ now it's a thing to win a medal on for the united states/ but once there were no lutzes, axels, pirouettes or twirls/ just giddy slipping sliding laughing happy little girls.

Here's Loudon Wainwright singing the song:

The Friar's Tale + lego animation

I sure hope this kid got an A on this highly excellent animation project. I especially love the part (spoiler alert) where the harmless looking green-hatted elf/gnome guy spins around and turns into a demon from hell:

Gotta love Chaucer, eh?

This is just scary

via Magpie

Happy Elvis Week everybody!

Not sure how to celebrate? There's something for everyone.

With the Wowwee® Alive™ Elvis® [no, I am not making this up], "you can touch his soft hair and sideburns, stroke his skin, feel his 1968 black leather jacket, look into his clear baby blues, and marvel as his lips form their distinctive "curl" before he sings in that soulful voice."

Yes, the good people at Sharper Image have made available this officially licensed animatronic robot that sings eight of the King's biggest hits, or you can sing along karaoke style, or you can even plug your iPod into it and watch him sort of bop along. Apparently. For only like 300 bucks or something. Plus shipping. Cool, huh?

Or you could listen to the classic Richard Thompson song about an Elvis fan gone mad:

Oh she dressed in the dark and she whispered amen
She was pretty in pink like a young girl again
Twenty years married and she never thought twice
She sneaked out the door and walked into the night
And silver wings carried her over the sea
From the west coast of Ireland to West Tennessee
To be with her sweetheart, oh she left everything
From Galway to Graceland to be with the king

She was humming Suspicion, that's the song she liked best
She had Elvis I Love You tattooed on her breast
When they landed in Memphis, well her heart beat so fast
She'd dreamed for so long, now she'd see him at last
She was down by his graveside day after day
Come closing time they would pull her away
Ah to be with her sweetheart, oh she'd left everything
From Galway to Graceland to be with the king

Ah, they came in their thousands from the whole human race
To pay their respects at his last resting place
But blindly she knelt there and she told him her dreams
And she thought that he answered or that's how it seems
Then they dragged her away it was handcuffs this time
She said my good man are you out of your mind.
Don't you know that we're married? See, I'm wearing his ring.
From Galway to Graceland to be with the king.
I come From Galway to Graceland to be with the king.

-Lyrics lifted from RT's website. I tried to find an mp3 of the song for you but I can't put my finger on one just now. Here's some guy singing it on youtube, though, in case you don't have your own copy of the song. Which you should.

Update: How could I forget this Elvis? I'm not sure what he's doing to celebrate this week. Likely out catting around is all. As usual.

It's not the heat, it's -- well, it IS the heat

I think this video is up on youtube, but I can't find it. Until I do, you'll have to go here and click on the link to watch this video about just exactly how hot it is here where I live. Seriously. It's hilarious.

I don't do tech support..

... but the guy in the office next to mine does, and when he's not at his desk, people come in and ask me for help with their technical difficulties. Sometimes the solutions are pretty simple, and I can help them:



[UPDATE: The video linked to above seems to have been taken away. Here is another copy, but without the subtitles. It's just as funny without the translation.]