Happy Birthday

Tonya Harding is 37 today.

Update: I was looking for the lyrics to this song about Tonya Harding this morning, and I couldn't find them anywhere, so I had to listen to it about thirty times and transcribe it for you. It's by Loudon Wainwright III, and it appears on his 1999 release "Social Studies" as well as the 2003 live collection "So Damn Happy." I apologize for any transcription errors; I'm not very good at this kind of thing:

You knew she was in trouble when you saw her bodyguard/ when you saw those two together, you knew it wasn't hard/ to see that she was different, not just one of the girls/ with their gliding and their sliding and their pirouettes & twirls

then it turned out that she smoked and drank and posed practically nude/ and she didn't smile alla the time, she got angry, & was crude/ she wasn't goody-two-skates like all the other girls/ with their grinning & their spinning & their winning little twirls

and her childhood was unhappy, and her mom was really weird/ her husband liked to hit her but it was poverty she feared/ she grew up in the trailer parks, not like most of the girls/ with their gliding and their sliding and their whirling little twirls

yes they all look like princesses, little barbies to the core/ but she was your parents worst nightmare: the slut who moved next door/ from the wrong side of the tracks, she liked the boys more than the girls/ with their gliding and their sliding and their girlish dainty twirls

and it seemed like she was lying about what she didn't know/ and then she started crying in the media sideshow/ and in practice she kept falling down more than the other girls/ with their gliding and their sliding and their picture perfect twirls

and they almost towed her truck away, ah the whole thing was a drag/ forget about cambpells soup, and reebok, wheaties & the flag/ yeah, there'll be books, she'll make some money -- that's what they're after, all these girls/ what they're selling, kiss and telling, in their twisted little twirls

so play the national anthem, stand up proud and tall/ oh we hope that ours don't stumble and that theirs slip and fall/ and remember olga korbut, what happens to these girls/ with their triple flips and axels and someraults and twirls

ice used to be a nice thing when you laced up figure skates/ now it's a thing to win a medal on for the united states/ but once there were no lutzes, axels, pirouettes or twirls/ just giddy slipping sliding laughing happy little girls.

Here's Loudon Wainwright singing the song: