With suspicion and ID cards for all*
Found this handy public service announcement over at Pharyngula, home of the nearly famous Minnesota biology professor Dr. PZ Myers, who urges readers to verbalize polysyllabically.
For their own safety and privacy of course.
As someone who has always had a paranoid streak, and who was raised by a woman with a healthy conspiracy theory for just about everything, I've long suspected that my telephone conversations are being monitored. Probably by mistake, as I don't have much faith in the competence of folks who do this kind of work. But when I get that icky 'what if they're listening' feeling (which most often occurs when I talk to my sister, oddly enough), I usually start talking about chick stuff -- the really gross kind, like menstrual cramps, or gynecological disorders. Because it really makes me chuckle to picture some poor dweeb of a surveillance operative in a trailer somewhere trying to transcribe the whole conversation.
I like this solution just as well, though. Just start making sense, and it will confuse them.
Anyway, speaking of my favorite scientists, the good people over at ScienceBlogs(tm) have spiffed up their homepage and added a whole bunch of new blogs. The page runs updated blog post headlines as well as science news headlines, and its content is indexed by topic and by blog title, with a few links to free stories in SEED Magazine, which hosts the whole ScienceBlog project. I love the site, but I have to warn those of you who are neurologically impaired or who get carsick watching wiggly graphics & intrusive and/or animated ads, you might encounter a few disturbing things. Sometimes I have to hold a 3x5 index card over parts of the monitor to continue reading. I wish web designers wouldn't do that. Still, it's pretty good.
*I'm quoting Tokyo Tom, one of the commenters at Apostropher, which is where PZ found this nifty graphic.
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4 comments:
"But when I get that icky 'what if they're listening' feeling (which most often occurs when I talk to my sister, oddly enough), I usually start talking about chick stuff -- the really gross kind, like menstrual cramps, or gynecological disorders. "
Fecksakes am I glad to read that, I had truly begun to fear for your reproductive health! I am so glad you have ulterior motives... who knew you were so clever!!! I am off to find some gynecological disorders of my own to talk about when I feel the need. Maybe I will have to start doing that when I am on the phone with mom and she gets all politicky...
Re: The New Amerika
To quell justifiable paranoia, if you are able, speak a foreign language while talking on the phone. Eavesdroppers will be flumoxed. Also use words such as "flumoxed" when conversing in english.
This government is illiterate and shamelessly ignorant of most cultures and language, including their own.
"N'est ce pas?"
Mutual friends say "Bonjour"
[ie Monsieur French]
VL
For the love of god do NOT tell mom you have gynecological problems -- you know how she is when she gets worried. She'll show up on your doorstep and start yelling at you for having such a messy kitchen. And as far getting all politicky on the phone? Pot, meet kettle. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Chip off the old block. Know what I mean?
et VL: c'est cela meme!
Just be sure to throw the word "antidisestablishmentarianism" into every conversation. I bet they'll leave us alone *then.*
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