And I didn't have to get married to get it
My mother has been going on and on about what she was planning to get me for Christmas for months now. I had my suspicions about it, that was probably some kind of kitchen gear, because she brought it up in every conversation about recipes. But I didn't really want to think too hard about it, because she was having so much fun and I didn't want to wreck it. And then there was all this drama about how on earth she was going to mail this item to me, how to get it to the post office.
She has a history of mailing bizarre things, and I've had to go to the post office before to pick up cardboard boxes full of pickle-flavored packing peanuts and broken glass. And some very large rocks that she thought I would enjoy using as bookends. Last time it happened, the post office manager called me to come and get a package that had been damaged, and did I know anyone at [my mother's address], and I said yeah that was my mom and how I hoped she hadn't sent pickles again. And she said: "Pickles! That's it! I was about to call the HazMat team to clean it up, but it smelled so familiar; I thought I'd check with you before I shut the place down, see if you were expecting a package."
It was a serious bummer, as her pickles are about the best anywhere.
So it makes me nervous when she talks about mailing things.
Apparently she'd been fretting about this difficulty to everyone who would listen. Someone suggested that she just have the store ship it to me, but she didn't want to pay the shipping charge. I suggested a gift certificate, but she said I'd probably just spend it on laundry detergent and bath towels or something, and she really really wanted me to have this item. I guess her neighbor finally got tired of hearing her fret, and took her to the library and helped her purchase it online. Free shipping & everything! Mom was stunned by the simplicity and elegance of this transaction.
"Have you ever bought anything over the internet before?" she asked me. "It's really easy."
But anyway, she went ahead and mailed it early, and told me to open it right away because she wanted me to have it in plenty of time for my holiday baking needs. It's a shiny black and chrome KitchenAid (r) mixer.
I could not be more thrilled. I've been wanting one for years, but it's one of those things that I just couldn't come up with a good reason to go buy it. Let alone come up with the big bucks they cost. I had sort of resigned myself to the idea that my decision to remain unmarried would mean that I would never ever get one.
Plus, if I get bored with the shiny blackness of it, I can get decals to decorate it, according to Biker News Online. Behold:
You can buy the decals on eBay. Right over the internet. It's that easy.
That's not a picture of my new mixer. That picture is from Biker News Online.
Labels:
cooking without a net,
holidays,
NaBloPoMo
9 comments:
Ooooooooh, pretty! And you could also rhinestone it, or put on silver tattoo decals.
"I suggested a gift certificate, but she said I'd probably just spend it on laundry detergent and bath towels or something..."
I have to tell you that when I read this line -- speaking of weird associations -- I immediately thought of people who won't give money to homeless people "because they'll only spend it on drugs or alcohol." Heh.
A mixer from your mommy is way better than towels or detergent, though. Way better. :)
Woah, that is one bad ass mixer. I can't believe you got that kitchen aid mixer which is a serious (and seriously expensive mixer). I don't think we even have enough counter space for it.
I do have to say, you mother mailed you Rocks? Well, I went through a phase of mailing off cows skulls anonymously to people I liked so who I am to point fingers (Linda's parents have been cattle and they have a stone pile where the "bits" go - just in case you wondered where I got a dozen whitened cow skulls).
That is a super super present and I am very happy and slightly envious of you
I'll try to post an actual photo of my personal mixer, which has no flame decals (yet), but my kitchen is such a mess. The mixer is so shiny and pretty I'm not sure I want to mess it up. Rhinestones, though, maybe. I did think of you, Sara, when I was considering the surface decoration possibilities.
Elizabeth, I too have very very little counter space, but was able to make room for it by putting the toaster oven on top of the microwave.
And yeah, she has mailed rocks, and is likely to mail more in the future. And I'm sure the only reason I don't have cow skulls is that her husband collects them, so she can't mail them to me. I believe I asked her not to, at one point, because I suspected she might once she moved to the desert and started finding them everywhere. I was a vegetarian at the time, and thought it might be kind of gross.
I love the rocks, though. I do in fact use them for bookends; a lot of them are from the tailings piles at copper and turquoise mines and very pretty.
She also sometimes sends pinyon nuts, pecans, pickled peppers, dried pepper wreaths, canned plums and apricots, and cookbooks she gets at yard sales. And old gingham aprons, which I adore and use every time I cook.
It's funny, because for years the two of us fought about every gift-giving occasion, but I think we're both relaxing and learning to enjoy the process. The real turning point, I think, was the absolutely fabulous tiara she gave me for my 40th birthday, which you can see in my picture.
When I asked her why she'd given me such an extravagant thing as this mixer, she said it was because I'd told her last summer that I hadn't been baking or fancy-cooking as much (at all) on account of my hand & arm & wrist & shoulder pain -- that it wasn't enough that I'd had to give up riding the bike, playing the guitar & piano, and knitting, I couldn't knead bread or whip cream or beat egg whites by hand any more. She said that she and my sister really liked their kitchen aid mixers, that they did everything really well, etc., and I should go buy one of those. I just laughed and said I'd put it on my wedding gift registry, hahaha, because if I had that kind of money lying around I would just buy shoes, or cases of wine.
I think she finally believes it that I'm never getting married.
gotta love moms. this reminds me of the time my mom used little korean fourth graders to cartel soy souce tofu-looking squares from korea to here. or the time the whole 747 plane smelled like ginseng because my grandma happened to be carrying these big ass roots in her pocket. :)
Ha, Miss CripChick, that's hysterical. One time I got a call from my mother, all frantic because she was all ready to make pickles and couldn't find dill anywhere in the entire state of New Mexico and could I send her some, like, Priority Mail? She thought that Overnight Mail would be too expensive, but she needed it to be fresh, and 3rd Class/Book Rate (which is how she sends everything, which sort of explains all the broken jars of pickles and apricots), so I hopped on the bus, went to the farmer's market, and got two huge bunches of it. I didn't want to put it in tightly wrapped plastic, because I was afraid it would rot, so I put the bunches directly into the cardboard box and sent them off. Monday morning, mom was walking around town, running errands, and the mailman saw her, made a U-turn, and followed her into the bank. With the box, which he handed to her and said, "I don't know what they're sending you, but it sure does make my truck stink." I can totally see her trying to smuggle agricultural products out of the old country, but she hates to fly, so I don't think she'll go there.
I can't get past this intriguing statement from Elizabeth:
"Linda's parents have been cattle."
But, about this mixer: This year in a fit of poor foresight, I offered to make my sister's wedding cake. I borrowed a recipe from alphabitch and a KitchenAid (r) mixer from another pal, and jeez, would I like to have one of those mixers.
The cake came out fine. My sister topped it with Day of the Dead bride and groom figures.
I think Elizabeth left a word out, I'm thinking. "Ranchers," maybe. Just a guess.
Yeah, I remember that you were quite impressed with the kitchenaid. You can keep the recipe, by the way; I have another one just like it.
i think our moms would be friends :)
My husband Joe goes on and on about getting one of these. Thanks for the link on the decals.
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